Who knew sex could be such a motivator

Spent all of yesterday and most of my downtime today writing. Apparently, I've had a smile on my face most of the day. Miss Chang Cho asked me if I had a good weekend.

I don't think I've ever blushed so hard in my life, but I told her I might go dancing on Friday. Maybe.

But I've been writing, which is good. Maybe I've gotten over my block after all.

Work has been... interesting. Miss Chang's housemate has disappeared, leaving her infant son with the babysitter. Miss Chang says this is very unusual for her friend and can't help but be worried. I'm just happy the baby can go to the sitter's today. Yesterday was horrible. He was fussy all day and very little was done. I think the only proactive thing I did yesterday was run out and get formula for him.

This was not what I signed up for

After being in this house, and seeing how lived in it is, I can't help but think how there are rooms at Blythe Hill I haven't entered in years. That house is just too big for a single person.

Christmas was lonely.

I kept crossing my fingers, hoping something would come. That perhaps Owen would feel something. But he didn't.

Apparently, ten years worth of friendship is worth nothing, So much for being a loyal Hufflepuff.

I sent him a box of chocolates via the post. Looking back, I wish I had dosed it with something. But one, I know I would eventually regret it and two, I'm not that good at potions. I wouldn't want to kill him, just make him a bit uncomfortable.

Oh well. On to better news, I'm waiting to hear back from a potential employer. She lives in Hogsmeade, where Owen works, but that's unavoidable. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the woman owls me back. If she doesn't, I'll find something else.

It's been ten days and no word. I'm assuming he got wrapped up in some new project because I don't want to think about the alternative. I'll wait a few more days and go check on him. Maybe.

It's been three weeks since Owen and I fought and nothing has been sent between us not that that's unusual. His birthday is on Friday, but with it being Halloween, I doubt he'll be in. I'll go see him tomorrow night and apologize. If he can't step up and be the bigger person, I will.

Autumn's winding down and I'm in search of things to do. Must get off my arse and do something. Maybe I'll take a trip. I don't know.

God damn fucking men hell.

We both said things out of anger, but probably meant.

I hexed him in the back.

He called me childish.

I don't think I'm sorry.

I don't think I can do this anymore.

Can't sleep right now. Feel like I'm walking in a fog half the time. I try and study the books Hermione lent to me, but I don't remember much of anything. I'm not very hungry most of the time. I spend a lot of time in Diagon Alley, doing nothing. I only come to Blythe Hill to sleep.

I can't face the ghosts lurking in these halls.

I can't wait anymore. I need to know the truth.

I don't get it. I take a day off for my birthday because, lets face it, I needed a day off because were so busy, and I come back and we're dead. We have maybe five or six customers a day. To put that in perspective, we had about twenty before my birthday.

Strange.

I need to go to Flourish and Blotts to get some more books. I've run out of things to read while waiting around.